• Wed. Feb 8th, 2023

Ask Ashlee: Having the ex over holidays? Is it too much?

Dear Ask Ashlee,

My ex and I have been broken up for about 6 weeks now. Our breakup wasn’t messy or anything, it was mutual, and it was the best thing for us right now. We check on each other occasionally and haven’t had any arguments or falling out with each other since the breakup. As the holidays are coming up, I have been thinking about inviting him to spend the holidays with my family and I since he doesn’t have much family. His parents have already died and for the last 6 years, my family has been his family. He still visits with my mom often and has a close relationship with my brother. I still care about him very much and I just don’t want him to be alone or believe that he isn’t welcomed anymore because we are no longer together. Am I doing too much?

The Ex

Dear The Ex,

So, here’s the thing, if you want your ex back just say that! No, I’m kidding, but really, I want you to take into consideration what having your ex come and partake in the holidays with your family could mean, or the feelings between the two of you could arise. I don’t know what reasons you all had for breaking up, but if breaking up is what’s best for you right now, it isn’t a good idea to put that break on hold, in the name of “holidays”. Sometimes when we know we need to move on from something, it is the fear of the unknown that will cause us to circle around the block of comfortability. He might be alone for the holidays this year because he actually might need to be. Just like you may need to experience this holiday without him by your side. We grow and we learn from our experiences, it is time for you to experience life without one another to see if breaking up was the right decision for you both or to explore the option that maybe your relationship is worth saving. He will be fine I promise.

I hope this helps.