Dear Ask Ashlee,
I have been dating my man for about 4 years, our relationship is pretty solid, and we are happy, but I am ready to take things to the next level, the marriage level to be exact. I was the one that got his number, asked him out on the first date, and I am the one that usually initiates things, but marriage? I want him to want to marry me. We rarely have any discussions about marriage or what our future plans are. I don’t want to scare him away, but I don’t want to be stuck in this position forever either. Should I discuss this with him? Or should I do what I have always done, and just initiate things and pop the question?
Mrs. I Do
Dear Mrs. I Do,
So, here’s the thing, before making any sudden moves, I strongly recommend you have a conversation with him first. You need to know what his future plans are for himself and if you are included in those plans. Most times, you can tell where someone’s mind is based on what they say, and what they don’t say. I do not recommend that you just pop the question to him. I think it is important to you and to him that you allow him to be a man and make some kind of move towards what your future together will look like. If you are the one making all the moves and not allowing him to do anything, your entire marriage will look exactly like that and one day you will wake up wondering, did he ever really want to be here? When you have a conversation with him, do not bait him into the answers you want to hear, be open enough to allow him to open up to you and tell you how he really feels. Based on the answers you receive from that conversation, that should be able to help you make your next move. I hope this helps!
Love & Light,