• Sun. Jun 4th, 2023

Ask Ashlee: Changing your mindset is the first step to overcoming sorrow

Dear Ask Ashlee,

I love that you do affirmations and talk about being positive all the time, but sometimes I feel like that’s just being unrealistic because life isn’t always good! I have been in a depressive state for the last few months, and I journal, I do affirmations and I try to stay to myself so that I don’t mix and match negative energies while I work on my own, but honestly, it just doesn’t work for me. I guess the advice I am looking for is, how long did it take you to get to this space where you are always happy? How long will it take me to get over heartbreak, betrayal, disappointment, and loss? I have been following you on social media for a while, you have always been so open about your struggles, and I know that you had to get over yours too, what did you do?


Dear Anonymous,

So, here’s the thing, I am still working on me and my mood and emotions every single day. When you are tired of being tired, you do what needs to be done for changes to happen in your life. I appreciate the support you have given me over the years, and I share my story because I know that it can and will help other people. It sounds like you focused on our mutual struggles, rather than focusing on the other side of the challenges I have said. You have got to change your mindset. If you don’t you will drown in your sorrows, and I know how hard it is to come out of that. I went live with a good friend of mine last week and shared these tips with her audience, and I am now going to share them with you. First thing is first, you have to acknowledge and embrace your imperfections. Whatever it is that you dislike about yourself, acknowledge it. Don’t ignore it, don’t hide from it, don’t shy away from it. Acknowledge your imperfections and then, embrace them all! I don’t care if this is a bulging belly, shorter hair than you’d like, lack of money, small apartment, older car or whatever it may be, consider yourself fortunate for what you do have until you receive more, because trust me when I say, more is coming. Secondly, while I love that you came here in this safe space and you asked me what you should do, I want you to give yourself more credit. Stop seeking the approval of other people. Whatever vision you have for your life is your vision. God blessed you with that vision and you alone. No one should be able to interfere with the vision you have for your best self. You should be constantly working towards whatever makes you happy one day at a time. Lastly, get used to using the word “yet”. This man hurt me, and I haven’t gotten over it, yet! I lost my job, and I haven’t found another one, yet! My bills are due, but I don’t have the money to pay them yet! Incorporate the word “yet” in your day to day thought pattern and watch the kind of hope it creates inside of you. Adding “yet’ at the end of your sentence, retrains your mind to believing that things are going to eventually work out for you and guess what? They are! I hope this helps!

Love & Light,