• Tue. Nov 29th, 2022

Ask Ashlee – Family matters: Taking brother in, husband disagrees

Dear Ask Ashlee,

My brother was recently in a car accident that nearly killed him. He is unable to take care of himself and doesn’t have a woman in his life to assist him at home. Our parents are too old to really take care of him, so of course I volunteered [for him to] come stay with me and my family for a while, until he can get himself back on his feet. My husband is completely against it. Mainly for the reason that I didn’t discuss it with him first, but it is my baby brother and I have been taking care of him our entire lives. I understand the financial strain it will place on my husband, as he is the sole provider for our family, but since I am always home, it just makes sense for me to be the one taking care of my brother while he heals. Any advice would help.

One More Won’t Hurt

Dear One More,

So, here’s the thing, if your husband is the sole provider of your family and all the financial responsibilities fall on him, then you absolutely should be discussing this with him before volunteering your household or putting more responsibility on your husband without his consent. I completely understand your need to take care of your brother, especially if that is something you have done your entire life, however, your brother is not your life partner, your husband is. Any decisions that will have an effect on your way of life, has to be made with your husband, not for him. Perhaps the financial strain of this new responsibility is what has your husband so against the idea, and if that is the case, a solution of additional funds could persuade his no into a yes. Either way, this is something the two of you must get on one accord about before you allow your brother to come into your home. It’s time to call a family meeting.

I hope this helps!

Love & Light,

Ashlee