• Thu. Dec 8th, 2022

Ask Ashlee: The loss of a loved one, mental health and children

Dear Ask Ashlee,

What advice do you have for someone that is dealing with a baby daddy with mental health issues? I have tried to help him so many times, and I didn’t really notice it as much until his mother died, and that is when things got worse. I know he is mentally suffering because he had the nerve to tell our children that they were the cause behind their grandmother’s passing. He isn’t well and I don’t know what else to do.

Looking For Answers

Dear Looking For Answers,

So, here’s the thing, you cannot help anyone that does not want help. I am so sorry to hear for his loss and the loss your children suffer from losing their grandmother, but your #1 responsibility is to your children and not their father. Now, don’t get me wrong, of course you want him to be ok simply because he is their father, I get it, but until he makes the choice to get himself some help, the only thing you can really do is extend him grace during this really difficult time and then be honest with your children. Be honest with them about mental health, depression, and the tools they need to stay equipped with so that they remain mentally healthy and ok. Remind them that their father loves them, and that right now, he isn’t ok. Whatever you do, don’t lie to your children. Allow this to be a teachable moment about mental health, grace, love, and the importance of family. I hope this helps!

Love & Light,

Ashlee