• Sat. Feb 4th, 2023

Ask Ashlee: My ex-husband is still my OBGYN?!

Dear Ask Ashlee,

I am a recently divorced (nine months) woman and I am ready to get back out there and start dating again. I actually already have, but I keep running into the same problem. I have tried to be upfront and honest with the men I am dating and let them know that even though my ex-husband and I are no longer married, we are still very amicable. So much so that he is still my OBGYN. I was married to this man for over 17 years, and he is an excellent doctor. Is it possible for me to go out and find a new one? Of course, but I choose not to, because one doesn’t have anything to do with the other. We share one child together; our divorce was something we both wanted and we don’t hate each other. I know that’s not the typical divorced couple, but here we are. Should I just stop sharing this information upfront? I don’t want to come off as a liar, but these guys seem to be very interested, right up until I lay that news on that, then they are out of there! 

Little Ms. Tricky Situation 

Dear Ms. Tricky Situation,

So, here’s the thing, they are absolutely going to continue to run if this is the kind of information you are hitting them with on date #1, 2 or even 3. I respect that you want to be upfront and honest about it because it is a “different” situation, but maybe continue getting to know these men first and see if you are even interested in creating something long term with them before you drop this big bomb on them. After that decision has been made, then yes respectfully have a conversation, and see how your potential partner feels. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself searching for a new OBGYN. 

Ask yourself the number #1 question, would you want the man you are seeing to have his ex-wife, fiancée’ or girlfriend examining his “man parts” all in the name of health and science? If not, then you know what you need to do. I hope this helps!

Love & Light,

Ashlee