• Thu. Mar 30th, 2023

Ask Ashlee: Growth in relationships sometimes means growing apart

Dear Ask Ashlee,

I have been with the same man for the last 12 years. We have both cheated on each other for years, I only cheated because he did, but it doesn’t matter, I still cheated. I feel like we have reached the end of the road of our relationship, but he has changed in so many ways for the good, that now I am afraid to walk away. He has started being the man I have always wanted him to be, and yes, I still love him, but it doesn’t feel the same. He feels like I am not putting forth the same effort as before, and maybe I am not. I do love him, but I don’t know what to do when it comes to us anymore.



Dear Anonymous,

So, here’s the thing, people are supposed to grow, evolve, and change into different people. It happens all the time. In your case, it seems like you both grew, evolved, and changed, but he changed for the betterment of himself, and your relationship and you changed for the betterment of you. Neither of you are wrong in this case. It’s great that he can now be the man deserving of your love, but if the woman you are today can’t forgive him and move past everything that has been done, then you staying is only hurting him and you. If you want to save what you two share, I suggest couples therapy so that you can get all of the feelings out and sort through them together in a safe space. You have to make the decision for you, not him, or anyone else, just you. I hope this helps!

Love & Light,