Dear Ask Ashlee,
My man and I have been going through a lot and we’ve been trying to come out on top on the other side. We’ve had family issues, financial problems, the typical relationship stuff. Lately he has been sharing that he doesn’t feel supported by me because I don’t go to his basketball games. He isn’t in the league or anything, these are recreational games that he just wants me sitting at, like a high school cheerleader. I am a grown woman; I don’t have time to sit in some smelly hot gym to watch my boyfriend play mediocre basketball with a bunch of other grown men that should be at home valuing the women they have in their lives. Am I wrong for this? I just feel like they’re other important things in our lives that deserve our attention.
Ms. I Don’t Have Time
Ms. I Don’t Have Time,
So, here’s the thing, if you want your relationship to turn around for the better, you might want to find the time. I am not just referring to being a sideline cheerleader either, I mean find the time to really sit down and listen to what your partner is saying he doesn’t get from you, but also listen to what he is not saying. When you can find the balance between the two to fully understand him, there is a shift that will take place in your relationship that can really surprise you. Life comes with problems, that is inevitable, but you two have to learn to work together. Express to him that you want him to take your problems more seriously but also admit that you can be supportive of the things he is into without belittling him and how it makes him feel. Would you rather he be out relieving his stress with basketball, or with the company of another woman? I’m not saying go to every single game, but even showing up and extending the olive branch to your man can go a long way in the realm of support, love, and appreciation. I hope this helps.
Love & Light,
Ashlee